Posts by Jesus Christ

12

How About Being Mooned?

by Guest 77 in

jw
friends

click to this link.. http://www.cutestuff.com/flash_1002/bluemoon.swf

Back in high school I got on stage at a rock concert in front of thousands of people and mooned my ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. After that song was over the band had me get back up on stage and do it again so they could see it because they missed it while playing. What was even funnier was on Monday morning my physics teacher (great guy who was one of the best teachers I ever had) was making jokes about seeing a "full moon even though the concert was indoors" the whole class.

Fun night!!!!!!!

Edited to add that having been raised a JW contributed to that incident. Having to get up in front of people and give talks made me lose my nervousness of doing stuff in front of people.

Edited by - Jesus Christ on 27 October 2002 21:27:3

35

Kangaroos and the Fossil Record

by Gedanken in

creationists like to attack evolution by attacking the "fossil record" as being incomplete; i.e., if something existed, for example, transitional states, then we should see evidence of them in the fossil record.

so, their argument is that if something existed, then we should see it in the fossil record.. let's take a look at the case of kangaroos.

we must assume, if we accept the notion of a global flood, that noah collected two kangaroos for his menagerie in the ark.

Jesus Christ

That is excellent reasoning there Geda!!! I've tried to tell people that evolution is how I made everything and maybe this will help me prove my point.

Thanks for the help and don't be suprised if you see me using this arguement sometime in the future!

12

Cease and Desist from WT

by rem in

jw
friends

i know that some who post here have received cease and desist orders from watchtower lawyers concerning the publication of watchtower literature on the web.

here is a website where you can log such legal harrassment and get some advice on what is legal and what is not:.

http://chillingeffects.org/.

Jesus Christ

There are only 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
It is off the topic, but I could not resist. I have had the illusion that binary is only two ways about it. Hexadecimal group might well consist of 16 people not mentioning the binary coded decimal group of ten.
But then again I might be the eleventh.
Mark

Hehehehehehehehe, this is funny because it shows you don't know binary.

Here's a hint, learn to count in binary and you'll get the joke. I saw a shirt with this on it and thought about buying it but decided not to because I knew I'd just spend most of my time explaining it.

Edited by - Jesus Christ on 26 October 2002 1:30:12

31

What would I do?

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

hello my children.

there have been some posts today debating what i might say in certain situations.

to make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how i may react or respond to certain situations i thought i would just start a thread to answer all your questions.

Jesus Christ

Can you recommend a good brand of sandals??????

I don't really wear sandals too much anymore. Come on, do you dress the same way you did back in the 80's? Well, now that you're not a JW anymore that is. The only pair of sandals that I have now is just some generic pair I picked up at the Family Dollar in Myrtle Beach that I picked up on vacaction a fews years ago.

So, what do I cover my feet with these days? Converse One Star's mostly. Yes, I know those are a bit outdated but not as much as my old sandals. In fact, they don't even make these shoes anymore or if they do they didn't at least make them about a year ago when I found a website that specializes in old shoes and had a few pairs of One Stars in my size and I promptly ordered all they had which is the only time I've spend a couple hundred on shoes at once. On top of that I also had a shipping bill so big its not even funny. Its not cheap sending stuff to other countries so imagine how much it costs to send it to where I'm at. Hey, once I find something I like I stick with it!

Oh, if anyone wants a quick ticket to heaven, find a pair of black Converse One Stars in size 12 and send them to me.

Dad bless you!

31

What would I do?

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

hello my children.

there have been some posts today debating what i might say in certain situations.

to make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how i may react or respond to certain situations i thought i would just start a thread to answer all your questions.

Jesus Christ

Was that really you and your dad I saw at the Jethro Tull concert in 1977 or was it something I ate?

Probably not. We never really got into them too much. Probably the best music out in 1977 was the Ramones. Don't worry though, you'll be seeing us soon enough though.

31

What would I do?

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

hello my children.

there have been some posts today debating what i might say in certain situations.

to make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how i may react or respond to certain situations i thought i would just start a thread to answer all your questions.

Jesus Christ

Jennifer Lopez is a bitch who swaps men, calls out "JEESUS" during sex and Jesus gets off watching?

Yes. Look, I don't care who she's having sex with (with the exception of Jimmy Ray but we've made sure that will never happen), she's hot so we'll oh so gladly watch.

And, of couse, don't worry heaven. We do enjoy watching you do the deed too. Hey, Jennifer has to rest from time to time so we still need something to watch right?

31

What would I do?

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

hello my children.

there have been some posts today debating what i might say in certain situations.

to make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how i may react or respond to certain situations i thought i would just start a thread to answer all your questions.

Jesus Christ

Do you and the old man ever take a peek into porn studios while they are filming?

Yes. All the time. In fact, the only reason Jimmy Ray wasn't stopped and was so succesful (ok, was a 1 hit wonder but still) was only because we were to busy watching some really great adult movies being made. We're sorry about that guy. Very very sorry and we promise that you'll never have to deal with a guy like that again.

31

What would I do?

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

hello my children.

there have been some posts today debating what i might say in certain situations.

to make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how i may react or respond to certain situations i thought i would just start a thread to answer all your questions.

Jesus Christ

I know the Bible says that you were tempted in every way so you must have been tempted by a woman.Could you please give us all the details?

No. Not all them. Do you realize how much pull dad had to use to get all that stuff left out of the bible? We're talking good stuff here. Its just so happens that my dad is the most supreme being in this universe (and a few others) so he's able to get all the details about the wine, women, and farm animals left out.

What I will hint at, however, is that Paul Westerberg and Kevin Smith have good blood running through their veins. Must have had a cool ancestor somewhere back in time..................

Edited by - Jesus Christ on 25 October 2002 0:22:51

31

What would I do?

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

hello my children.

there have been some posts today debating what i might say in certain situations.

to make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how i may react or respond to certain situations i thought i would just start a thread to answer all your questions.

Jesus Christ

Does it annoy you when Christians keep asking "What Would Jesus Do?"

Yes, incredibly. Its usually just how does some stuffy, uptight, and boring person want to project themselves onto me. It really annoys me when silly humans (and its usually only done by the most silly humans who do this) seem to think that I'm some boring guy who never gets drunk and goes home with whatever ladies will have me and only wants to sit around and sing praises to dad all day long. Its not like ol' Spanky needs me to feel good about himself, he just looks at Jennifer Lopez to see all the great things that he's made.

31

What would I do?

by Jesus Christ in

jw
friends

hello my children.

there have been some posts today debating what i might say in certain situations.

to make things easy for all of you that may have questions for how i may react or respond to certain situations i thought i would just start a thread to answer all your questions.

Jesus Christ

Hey, what can I say? I get busy handling prayers and protecting people and what not so I have to have somebody come in and type stuff out for me so I can keep my hands free to play video games (Gran Turismo). He just types stuff out although he can certainly get things mixed up from time to time. For example, I would just like to go on record as saying that at no time have I ever said that I shave gorillas as a side job. Play with them as a hobby, yes, but no shaving them to make money. I was trying to make a point about when I'll be coming making my network TV debut and that idiot typist got it confused. Oh well, he now has an extra nipple on his forehead because of that incident.